This morning when I arrived at school I noticed that someone had turned on the lights in our classroom. I was very confused as to how this could have happened, so I slowly crept inside the door. Much to my surprise I was not alone. 3 strange looking creatures were sitting on my desk! I screamed, and they hid under the desk. Apparently I can be scary looking in the morning too! After a few seconds, one brave alien stuck one eye out from behind the desk. Then all of the aliens made themselves visible and greeted me by saying: "Hello lady earthling. We are here on a quest. Recently our super alien technology has allowed us to pick up signals from this thing you call the "History Channel". One night we were watching this "History Channel" and they talked about a thing called "religion". We do not have that on planet Purpalurpagus. Can you please explain the different religions to us. We want to choose the best one, but cannot do that without knowing about each one. Can you help us?